Geoffrey, can you come in here for a moment?
- Sure thing, sir, just let me finish licking my ass.
By all means.
- You rang?
Geoffrey, what do you make of this Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes business?
- Closeted gay midget Scientologist divorces your #1 crush from the late 90s.
*sigh* I’m pretty sure I’ve read that somewhere else before. Not to mention that it’s offensive in at least three different ways.
- Admit it, though. You’d click on it.
I would. I’d click on it elsewhere but I don’t think I’d be comfortable running a headline like that here. It’s like your idea for “book mashups that no one should write ever.” It was shocking but definitely went too far.
- I’m telling you, “Fifty Shades of the Color Purple” would go places.
Dude! Not cool! I think that might be the most offensive joke anyone has made in history.
- Then why are you smiling?
… You’re an asshole, you know that?
- You are what you eat.
Now how about this Higgs Boson discovery?