The following is an excerpt from a longer article by Lindey West for Jezebel.
Feminists do not want you to lose custody of your children. The assumption that women are naturally better caregivers is part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not like commercials in which bumbling dads mess up the laundry and competent wives have to bustle in and fix it. The assumption that women are naturally better housekeepers is part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not want you to have to make alimony payments. Alimony is set up to combat the fact that women have been historically expected to prioritize domestic duties over professional goals, thus minimizing their earning potential if their “traditional” marriages end. The assumption that wives should make babies instead of money is part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not want anyone to get raped in prison. Permissiveness and jokes about prison rape are part of rape culture, which is part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not want anyone to be falsely accused of rape. False rape accusations discredit rape victims, which reinforces rape culture, which is part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not want you to be lonely and we do not hate “nice guys.” The idea that certain people are inherently more valuable than other people because of superficial physical attributes is part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not want you to have to pay for dinner. We want the opportunity to achieve financial success on par with men in any field we choose (and are qualified for), and the fact that we currently don’t is part of patriarchy. The idea that men should coddle and provide for women, and/or purchase their affections in romantic contexts, is condescending and damaging and part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not want you to be maimed or killed in industrial accidents, or toil in coal mines while we do cushy secretarial work and various yarn-themed activities. The fact that women have long been shut out of dangerous industrial jobs (by men, by the way) is part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not want you to commit suicide. Any pressures and expectations that lower the quality of life of any gender are part of patriarchy. The fact that depression is characterized as an effeminate weakness, making men less likely to seek treatment, is part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not want you to be viewed with suspicion when you take your child to the park (men frequently insist that this is a serious issue, so I will take them at their word). The assumption that men are insatiable sexual animals, combined with the idea that it’s unnatural for men to care for children, is part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not want you to be drafted and then die in a war while we stay home and iron stuff. The idea that women are too weak to fight or too delicate to function in a military setting is part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not want women to escape prosecution on legitimate domestic violence charges, nor do we want men to be ridiculed for being raped or abused. The idea that women are naturally gentle and compliant and that victimhood is inherently feminine is part of patriarchy.
Feminists hate patriarchy. We do not hate you.
White Ribbon is the world’s largest movement of men and boys working to end violence against women and girls, promote gender equity, healthy relationships and a new vision of masculinity.
Starting in 1991, we asked men to wear white ribbons as a pledge to never commit, condone or remain silent about violence against women and girls. Since then the White Ribbon has spread to over 60 countries around the world.
We work to examine the root causes of gender-based violence and create a cultural shift that helps bring us to a future without violence.
Our vision is for a masculinity that embodies the best qualities of being human. We believe that men are part of the solution and part of a future that is safe and equitable for all people.
Through education, awareness-raising, outreach, technical assistance, capacity building, partnerships and creative campaigns, White Ribbon is helping create tools, strategies and models that challenge negative, outdated concepts of manhood and inspire men to understand and embrace the incredible potential they have to be a part of positive change.
How do our rigid notions of what makes a “real man” contribute to unspeakable acts of violence? Could it be that we’re socially conditioned to feel like we need to defend our manhood, with violence if necessary? Could it be that mass murder is the unfortunate and rare offshoot of that same masculine defensiveness taken to its extreme end?
I was just reminded of this video that had a huge impact on me when I first saw it. Tony Porter’s TED Talk addresses what he calls “The Man Box” and how we men need to re-evaluate what we think masculinity is.
I know that 12 minutes is long for an internet video but no matter who you are, this is worth your time.
Last week’s video on Steubenville generated a lot of interesting conversations! A lot of people were uneasy with how some of their favorite things like sports and money were implicated as factors that contribute to rape culture in mainstream society, so today I’m explaining things a little deeper.
For information on how you can help support victims of assault and abuse, visit http://www.rainn.org
“Testosterone” - Talk Show Boy
“Going Under” - Dexter Britain
“Lungfish” - Eet
“Emerald Witches” - Edward Shallow
“The Time To Run (Finale)” - Dexter Britain
All tracks used under a Creative Commons license and are available at http://freemusicarchive.org
New video today! Does using Pinterest make you feel girly? And if so, is that okay?
Pinterest has grown quickly to become the 3rd largest social network on the web, and has a user base that’s over 80% women. So what does this mean for men, and for that matter, for women?
For more information on Pinterest and Feminism, check out Nathan Jurgenson’s article on The Society Pages at http://thesocietypages.org/cyborgology/2012/03/05/pinterest-and-feminism/
Talk Show Boy - “Testosterone”
Gablé - “humm ok”
Latché Swing - “Hungaria”
Ergo Phizmiz and Margita Zalite - “Rolands Vegners”
All tracks used under a Creative Commons license and are available at http://freemusicarchive.org.